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I have been a foster parent for a number of years and have dealt with my fair share of "trouble" kids.
The biggest problem with getting kids like this involuntarily institutionalized is that there is a big legal hurdle for it to be done. The courts are disconnected more ways than one with mental health professionals due to doctor/patient confidentiality. Recommendation of a shrink for a kid to be institutionalized has to show the potential of grievous harm and in most cases, their has to be a record of prior acts. A kid going around saying unbalanced things in the view of most courts is not enough and their has to be a record criminal instance before the process can start.
The next big thing is actually "cost". Most middle income families will go bankrupt and private insurance provides little for long term institutionalization. Kids that become wards of the state are in the same boat as the State has to absorb the costs of institutionalization and most social workers will avoid it because of the costs.
So in short, the system is setup that until little Johnny has actually performed a harming act, there is no impedes to commit him.
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You have summarized the true issue that Obama and the other clowns on both sides of the aisle have conveniently forgotten since the shootings in CT. Why? Because to address the issues you have outlined would mean they all would have to actually work...and work together if you can imagine that. But it is far easier and in their perception, more politically advantageous to pick the low hanging fruit of gun control for law abiding citizens. When the dust settles and after the months of posturing and bullshitting from both sides, what will emerge is background checks for gun show sales and perhaps Internet sales and than life will go on and both sides will shout how they did the best for the American people...especially as the next election draws near.